Moan for me like Helen Keller
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
