I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
