She's JV to your varsity
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
