Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
