Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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