It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
