She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Two words: blizzard sex
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to calm my uterus...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
