lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
