how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
