how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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