Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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