1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You're like the curious george of whores
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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