you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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