Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
