While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
