my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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