I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
