you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
