I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
