My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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