Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
