I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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