So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
