my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
