Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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