we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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