is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
