I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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