Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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