it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
