I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
