y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didn't notice because vodka
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
