ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
