Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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