David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
