So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
