If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
