i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
