I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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