I think I am morally bankrupt
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
