Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
