just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
