I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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