dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
