My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
