32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Shame - the story of my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
