She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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