Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
