margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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