I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
