Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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