She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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